Sprache?
Um, so I went to sign into blogger and everything was in German. Luckily, I have learned a few words and phrases through osmosis from my father in the past few years and found a link labeled "sprache". And when I clicked on this link I was allowed to change my previously "preferred" setting of German to English. Yeah, LUCKily.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I have an invasive vaginal exam to get to!
Okay, a)I'm kind of hoping that last sentence will weed out the readers with no interest in this story or who become stuttery and red at the mention of the gynecologist and b)anytime is a good time to use Friends' quotes (which reminds me, I have an AWESOME story about my mom after this one).
So. Today was that wonderful day of the year that each woman looks forward to during the remaining 364 of them. The Annual. Now, as if this exam couldn't get any more uncomfortable and awkward and well, invasive: the sterile papers laid out so you feel like a 1-month old puppy in training, the "gown" (which, after mustering the balls to sputter the question "um, I'm not really sure . . . uh, . . . which way does this go?", receives an answer from the doctor of "you know, I'M not even sure"), the cold . . . things - EVEN after all of this, let's welcome a new added bonus to the scenario. A young assistant who looks at you like she knows you or maybe graduated from high school with you summoned into the room to hold a flashlight for the doctor because the other light broke. Yes. I'm serious. It's been a pleasant day.
Well, now that I've shared a bit too much information most likely, I'll move on to a good story that does not involve gynaecologists or flashlights (two words that should NOT be in the same story).
So my mom and I were moving chunks of broken concrete from our driveway to our lake (don't ask - my dad and his "projects"). These rocks are effing heavy so it takes two of us to control the wheelbarrow down the beach. After saying screw it to my dad's insistence that we PLACE the rocks along the retaining wall to act as deterrents to erosion, we decide to dump one load of rocks. My mom tips the wheelbarrow up and I scrape the stuff into the lake. She sets it back down, puts her shoulders back and rightly states, "Wow, my breasts are really strong!" I. Love. My. Mom.
And that's all I got. You're probably relieved. I can tell. It's okay.
Yes that's right.
I've been listening to Transatlanticism for over one solid month now. Mind you, I have bandages around my wrists and a suspicious rope burn around my neck . . . but it was a good time you know . . . alittle, uh, sombering and whatnot.
I have lugged my laptop to Pane Bello (for Kearney's pure lack of anything remotely resembling a Borders, Barnes & Noble, ________[insert known bookstore with wifi here]) and I am now able to blog on my forsaken piece of technology. And you are in for a TREAT! Because my summer has been what I can only describe as craptastically wonderful. Ready? Go.
C - Car. My car goes in the classifieds of the regional newspapers on Tuesday. Farewell old friend. That car holds MANY memories . . . road trips, muddy sweaty bodies fresh from outdoor concerts, trying to accomodate two sleeping teenagers attempting to escape the Mosquitos of Hades, cramming 7 or 8 - I mean 5 safely seat-belted passengers . . . oh my.
R - Rain. It has been raining for about 32 days now. Who needs London? Well, me. But you know. It wouldn't work really if I had said THAT.
A - Agony. Sitting through Shrek 3.
P - Part-time job. This one may take more than one letter. Because you see, I still work for the same lady as during the school year, just different tasks. I babysit the MOST unique kid in the world. More on him later.
T - Time with one of my besties. It was a crammed, crazy couple of days, but as with most of my friends, she has left for work/vacation/etc. and will not return until after I leave for Europe.
A - Agony revisited. Two fillings. No cavities, but "just in case". Damn you Dr. Cochran.
S - Sweat. Working out at UNK illegally. Everyday I pray they don't ask me for my student I.D. Good thing I have Dad's name to flash in the face of authority.
T - Travel Bug. Soon to be satisfied. I leave for Europe July 12, turn 22 years old while over the ocean, then land in Hamburg, Germany on my birthday! Not bad. Plans so far include: Berlin (maybe the Berlin Festival to see Peter, Bjorn and John), Dresden, Prague, London, and maybe France. Trying to get to Africa on Easyjet or something - but I just watched Blood Diamond. And I'm sort of rethinking that . . .
I - iTunes. I bought myself a giftcard. I'm so thoughtful sometimes.
C - Creativity. Ok, back to the babysitting. This child is not allowed to watch TV. So, we have to be a bit more creative in our days. Which usually involves some stories by 5:00 pm. So far we have built/created: a jetpack and helmet made out of recyclable materials, Benopoly (board game), a landscaping creation out of legos, drawn new comic book superheroes [enter Lightning Pup, The Spirit Freer and Peace Girl ala me], created the sport of Floogie Throw [it does NOT involve bodily fluids], and much more. Along with these endeavors, I have accompanied his entire Violin Class on piano for lessons AND a recital, painted the entire basement (almost done!), and done some typing on the side. It keeps me busy and guessing.
A - Abandonment. The awful crime I have committed towards bags upon bags of clothes in my closet. It's time. But really, what if I wanted to WEAR that last pair of size 5 shorts from my childhood someday. ha. Haha. My point.
L - Leaving. Everyone around me. Moe gone to London. Claire gone to PA. Schy gone to Barcelona. My turn.
L - Library. It's kind of like Disneyworld for me. Books and Dvds and Cds, oh my.
Y - Yerba mate. Good tea.
W - Wifi. :( No more.
O - Open. The thing some businesses do to make money? The thing nothing does here past 7 p.m. Wtf.
N - New things. Used a riding lawnmower. Realized I actually love asparagus. um . . .
D - Dad and Mom. Enjoying spending time with them. Seriously. :)
E - 'Ello Guhv-nah.
R - Refills. The thing I'm about to do with my coffee cup.
F - Finishing this blog.
U - Um, running out of things to say.
L - Leaving. To move to Arizona. Where there is sunshine. And places stay open past 7 pm. And one of my besties lives (THE bestie). And I can buy a scooter! And I can buy fresh fruits and veggies! And I can get a job. (please note the lack of exclamation point.)
Ok. There you have it. I'm done. I swear.
